Glad To Be Alive

I felt sad last night as I woke up. I’m glad my girlfriend is still up because it was her night duty. A large part of why I’m sad because I missed celebrating the new year. It’s the first time. Also I should have texted my friends and greeted them. I’ll do that after this post.

My keyboard sucks. It’s crunchy and I find it hard typing. I want a new one. Man am I cheap. I’m saving all of my money for dates. That’s why I’m very thrift. Our family’s in a financial difficulty right now. And I need money in a few days because I have to enroll to a review class because I’m taking the board exams end of February.

I’ll also need a few money for bookbinding our thesis. I really need to get a job. But in order to do that, I have to pass the board exams first. But the thing is I’m very anxious because I haven’t reviewed yet. But I have confidence. Right now. Although I’m not sure if there’s going to be any when I see what I have to study in review class.

Spiritually I’m having turmoils too. I haven’t been praying out properly at night. I dunno if it’s wrong what I’m doing. I’m not doing the sign of the cross before and after every bedtime prayer but I do tell Him everything. I just can’t figure out why I’m feeling guilty. I feel like it’s not really enough; what I’m doing. I’m telling God now, yes Lord I’m sorry. I haven’t been good lately but I’m trying. Things haven’t been going my way. I have to sacrifice my time and money so to give way for some of my friends while I’m neglecting a bit on others. I felt bad. I haven’t been treating people good lately. Especially when it comes to money. It’s not intentional though. Please change me Lord. Help me change the error of my ways. Amen.

A part of me is saying that praying in my blog is a bit corny or unpopular but that’s me. God is a huge part of me. I don’t really like reading preaches and I hope my writings don’t come off as one but my faith is a huge part of me and it has to manifest in my writings somehow. Intentional or not.

And I’m glad to be alive. I have a lot of problems at hand but I’m happy that I’m experiencing life. I’ve been blessed with so much. I have to than the Big Guy for this opportunity, for his generosity. Thank you po Lord.